you were kindled
like a hot flame,
burning into
the black night.
my eyes attracted
to the brightness,
the colour
of your light.
i hovered,
i danced
around your fire,
fleeting,
about to miss,
coming in too close,
too intrigued,
i burnt myself
on your kiss.
my heart was pulled
in different ways
that i didn’t understand.

this cannot be.

so I dream of you
and what could be
and then
i snuff
you out.

you can’t really see
how old i am
because my soul is copious
with youth…

but i have lived a million years
a million lives
and i have seen it all.

can you bother to look past my charms
to see the wisdom i have inside?
i can only lead you so far.

and when the rug gets pulled
from under your feet
i will only laugh.

i
do not
want
to
be
thinking
of
you.

i see
your
deep eyes
beckoning
me.
flirting
with
me.

i
turn
away
and
smash
my fingers
In a drawer.

it was just a kiss
nothing else.
a fleeting moment
of lips touching,
the warmth and softness of it.
the world stopped
as i felt your passion,
your hurts and your dreams,
as your lips
caressed mine.
i felt your pulse quicken
with the thought of
what if?
and the world began again,
as we pulled apart,
and said good night.

where i'm sitting

i’m in the coffee shop
drinking my iced soy latte,
trying to figure out
why the sun won’t reach
to where i’m sitting.
i can see it so clearly
through the windows,
and it’s bright and shiny
but much too far away
from where i’m sitting.
i’d like to change seats,
to change tables,
with the lady in the yellow sweater,
because the warm sun
is on her back,
and she’s still scowling anyway.

the sky is just holding its breath,
waiting for the sun to set.
then i can pull its black blanket
up for a good night sleep.
those little stars are keeping me
awake,
with their loud twinkling,
tickling across my face,
winking as they know
exactly what i’m thinking.

But i just want to sleep.

i want to clear my mind
because i can’t clear my heart,
and sooner or later
the tears will come,
making me so tired
that i’ll slip into some
trance-like state,
and the morning sun
will try to greet me
more loudly than normal,
trying to convince me
that today’s a new
and better day.

can’t you hear me screaming?

my mouth is wide
and the sky is void
and i’m trying to fill it with my voice.
hear me!

where is your heart?

you left it at my house!

and everywhere i turn
everywhere i look
it’s there,
mocking me.

let me in,
it sings to me.
i cover my ears to block it out
but i can feel it trying to enter me
so i scream.

why did you leave your heart here
for the relentless aide memoire?

i want…I WANT TO LOVE YOU!

but i’m too afraid.
afraid i’ll fall so hard and so fast
that i’ll explode into a million pieces.

so i scream.